“I’m here to build a brand.”

"I'm here to build a brand."

These are the words I said when Tim Gunn asked "Why Project Runway?" during my audition.

I saw his ears perk up. I knew that nobody else would answer that way, because nobody else had walked my path. I was coming to this audition out of left field, armed with a Harvard MBA and I had only recently completed pattern-making school at Apparel Arts in San Francisco.

I'm convinced that it was my outlier profile and the clarity of my purpose that got me on Season 3.

I lasted one episode.

And now that I know my Human Design, I *really* know why.

I had turned to my creativity to heal a heart that had been broken by the "business" world.

My first business partner in my first dot.com deceived me. My second iteration was ill-timed, and even though it was a sustainable strategy that had won four *consecutive* Forbes "Best of the Web" awards, the smartest strategy did not win. VCs are not as smart or brave or original thinking as they claim themselves to be — they often make decisions in packs.

As a 4-line (I'm a 4/1) in Human Design, we love very very deeply and *completely*. And when that love is lost or ignored or rejected, we are deeply, *deeply* wounded.

So I unplugged from the business world and started making purses which led to pattern-making school at Apparel Arts in San Francisco and a really small bespoke design label I called "ESTRELLA COUTURE."

But the brand wasn't really me.

It was a mask.

Because while I loved to adorn myself in fine things for the creative pleasure, I couldn't escape the feeling that I was also using these things to escape the memories of my past, growing up working class.

The brand was destined to fail.

Because it was inauthentic.

And fail it did.

I filed personal bankruptcy in the Fall of 2005. It was my deepest shame and humiliation.

Within 24 hours of committing to hang up my tape-measure for good, I received an invitation from a professional friend to work with him. This is how it works, energetically, for 4-lines. "Our people" are always the source of our best opportunities.

When I heard about the Project Runway auditions that following January, I thought, "Why not?"

With my first paycheck I bought new tires for my 10-year-old Saab convertible and drove to L.A.

Of course I harbored the long-shot fantasy that I had a chance at winning, but I knew in my belly that this audition was really about closure.

Putting an end to the financial devastation I had brought upon myself.

Putting an end to feeling like a victim of other people's whims, fears, and ethics.

Creating a sort of "commencement" ceremony to honor the deep learning from this chapter of my life. (This is an energetic craving of the Channel of Maturation, which we call "The Gardener." It seeks cycles of closure to free itself from the past so that it can begin again.)

All I really wanted was Tim Gunn's nod.

And I got it.

Fast forward 18 years (!), and I hear myself saying those words again:

"I'm here to build a brand."

But this time, everything is different.

Because I'm different.

This brand, "Mastering Your Human Design," isn't about being chic and exclusive and papering over childhood wounds and feelings of low self-worth — it's about simplicity, inclusiveness, and FUN.

This brand isn't built alone, it's built side-by-side and brick-by-brick with my beautiful and beloved business and creative partner of 11 years, Tara Tallman Sollman. There is nobody else in the world who completes me intellectually, professionally, and creatively the way Tara does.

This brand isn't about me.

It's about you.

It's about bringing you the illumination and empowerment that come from the gifts of knowing yourself -- deeply and completely -- through the lens of *your* unique Human Design so that you can transform yourself, your relationships and your life, and allow yourself to leave behind whatever ghosts are holding you back — because you are so much more extraordinary than that and you deserve better.

What's different when I say those words today than when I said them in 2006 is that I'm not just here to build a brand this time —

I am here to serve.

That is my Personality Sun Gate and line, 54.4, AMBITION -- but ambition in a way that serves the greatest good.

You have no idea how utterly unique and extraordinary you are.

And I want nothing more than to show you.